JUST ME & THE PEN... here it is

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Am I old?!?

I think for the first time today, I left a store, actually feeling old!  What?!?  I am not old!  So why in the heck DO I FEEL THIS WAY?? Wearing my usual, and those who know me, know what that means.  Cute pair of summer shorts (about to the knee) with a cute plaid pattern.  Since my backside is smaller now than it was a few months back, plaid is okay ;)  I had on a cute, satintine, fitted tank with flipflops to match the ensamble.  Cute earrings, hair in a natural but stylish ponytail, and a face patted with a natural makeup base (enough to look smooth and poished but certainly not evening-wear blushes or shadows).  I felt good.  I felt healthy.  One of those moments I would not have been embarrassed to "bump" into someone from my high school days.

Don't you HATE those moments!  You dress cute, use your smelly good, hair done, accessorized appropriately, only to NOT run into anyone from the past.  Be it the girls "to cool" for 'you' to be apart of their group!  Or what about looking your best when you might see that boy who never paid you attention.  Even seeing those "friends", who were "real friends" at the time, but you lost contact with over the years.  Wouldn't you just LOVE for them to see you now.  Your successful, blessed with a beautiful family, a loving spouse, you have the world at your fingertips and the beauty of the Lord across your face!  Life is good!

But no... you don't ever see ANYBODY on those days!  You only see people on the days when you just got done chasing the children after cutting the grass, taking the oldest to a soccer game and sitting in the heat for an hour and a half, changed the oil in the car, painted a room at a friends house....something that has made you feel proud and accomplished on the inside but disgusting on the out!  All the while, something that you need awaits you at the store, and you have to run out and get it just now, there's no time to get it later!
Oh no!  You look and smell terrible, but, its only gonna take a minute!  "All I have to do is run in", "Surely, no one will know me there.", "I won't be long." YEAH RIGHT!  That is the time when you will see three ex's, five girls from the cool club, the principal, and two of your old friends.  Meanwhile, as they all say "Hi", (naturally at different times, only to make you have that gut sinking feeling repeatedly through the rediculous twenty minutes you are in that stupid store!) you know they can't help but wonder...
#1 Why do you smell like that?
#2 That sheen that is coming off your face... yeah, isn't really pretty!
#3 Seems like after all this time, you would be "doing better for yourself"!
#4 Where does she shop, my goodness?!?!?

I am sure the list goes on, but because this is only a side note....  All of that to say, I HATE those moments!  HA!

Now, back to feeling old.  Fortunatly, living in a new place, I don't have to worry about running into the "long time ago" people, but still...
So... I am checking out at the grocery store, and EVERYONE in uniform in that place was like, twelve!  Even management probably had a curfew!  I had a few bottles of wine with me (due to celebrating a special event this weekend), and I didn't get carded.  Ok, that is not the first time that has happened, I can let that slide.  Only then, the "little girl" on the next register, (and why do I feel the need to call her 'little girl', by the way?  She had tata's and a job... thats gotta make her a little close to my age, right?) she starts talking to my cashier.  They are giddy and silly, saying "school is, like, so out next week!" And then, "graduation!" "hehehehe"
OMG!  The days of graduation!  You know, I hear kids, their parents, talk about graduation, and it happens every year!  This is nothing new, right?!?!  Well, tonight, for some reason, it hit me like a ton of bricks!  I have a child that is going to turn *fourteen* tomorrow!  Two others that will be ten & twelve later this year!  REALLY?!?!  Is that possible?  A three and a half year old abd still not finished?!?  I can't believe that the time has gone by so quickly, that there are so many things that I have watched and felt God pull me through, from what feels like a few short years ago, when I walked the isle and recieved that diploma!  All this time, all these stories and paths, bad decisions versus good choices, friends and experiences, moments and memories later.... I wouldn't change a thing! 

Congratulations 2011 Graduates
& just wait for a few minutes from now, when you are wondering where the time has gone!

Baby Tay.... Happy 14th Birthday sweet girl!  I love you and am blessed to have you in my life all these years!

1 comment:

  1. You are TOTALLY old! Like... OMG... freak'n old!!!! (says the person celebrating the 27th anniversary of high school graduation!) Join the "old club"... we're cool! :o)